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Troubleshooting the Cosmos

by Michael McGuire

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1.
Dig This 05:12
Dig this, Everything’s not alright, Dig this, There’s a hole in the sky, Dig this, There’s poison in her kiss, Dig this, War is on the way. Everywhere the colors of the rainbow are fading, And the sky is gathering rain, Everybody looks around for something left worth saving, And we all learn to live with our pain. Dig this, Time is running out, Dig this, It might not really matter, Dig this, Someone took the money, Dig this, Life is just a rumor. Everywhere the stars are ripe and getting ready to fall, And the winds are shifting in the sky, Everywhere the mystery waits to take us all, And there’s no way we can ever know why. A mystery in a mystery; in the mind’s eye burning thought, Weaving patterns of dark and light creation thus is wrought, With passion spent and captured moments we anoint the flesh with pleasure, We command with motion our fragile fate and think and feel and measure. Dig this, The thrush is not a belief, Dig this, Body is just like mind, Dig this, Death is what it is, Dig this, God’s eyes are your eyes. (now dig this). Jan. 93
2.
Lost Boys 05:43
And where they’ve gone is everybody’s secret, But nobody lives to tell, It’s like spending your everyday life in heaven, And your vacation in hell, And freedom is just a hiding place, But now there’s no stone left unturned, Desire is just your flushed cheeks, But now there’s no fire that’s not been burned. Oh oh where are the lost boys, Oh oh where are the lost girls, They gave their wishes to the stars and got taken by the world. It was like a light thru dark places, And when morning came the light just blended in, And you wonder how far to fall before the bottom, And how much salvation before a taste of sin, And for the heart’s construction what miner’s pride, And there; living overwhelms all that could be life, And you call this foe your friend and you make this whore your wife. Oh oh where are the lost boys, Oh oh where are the lost girls, They gave their wishes to the stars and got taken by the world. And the reason is lost in the excuse, Nights spent just trying to focus the days, And the feelings are left numbed by the senses, And the why’s are left wandering thru the ways, And all this time is spent redeeming the paradox, And will a question ever be admitted by an answer, Or is it just like a hurt lover who changes the locks, Oh who can stop this guilt that eats innocence like a cancer. Aug. 92
3.
Life broken in to the dismal minutes, And the days of the mirrored past, And where in the desert’s broken bones, Is the skull whose mind was in a cast, And now whose brave foot treads these wastelands, And who will die here without a sound, In this place of fantasy's delight, In this discovery yet unfound. If it means life it means more but not much, Lost in between the feeling and the touch, Yeah the truth is based on fiction, And desire the disguise of addiction. Sifted between possibilities and absolutes, The cosmic weather is no place for a life raft, A sculpted feeling and a brushwork reply, Makes you want to cry so you just laugh, In between the silence and the throbbing vein, A world in motion to create a life, With every twisted reason; every focal doubt, Art stands in between the killer and the knife. If it means life it means more but not much, Lost in between the feeling and the touch, Yeah the truth is based on fiction, And the engine runs on friction. Days and deeds and all the framework, Blend tradition and style into a masterpiece, Now it seems twice removed when it felt so real, But it’s not the renaissance or ancient Greece, The machine of color is stuck on white, What painter’s hand can detail the scene, The soul is shattered and revived as it struggles forth, Just to know if the meaning is what it means. Yeah the truth is based on fiction. Oct. 92
4.
He says we all must live because we all must die, How free is a bird to fall out of the sky, If it’s real, You have to kill, Dogma has its view and beauty has its day, Peace whispers its tune and then violence has its say, If you live, You have to give. Reinvent the system; put the bait into the trap, Serve it into slices; draw new lines upon the map, It don’t really matter if you don’t know what it’s for, Freedom is as good excuse as any for a war. We just want what’s right can’t figure out what’s wrong, And why should anybody have to wait this long, Die for love, Shoot down the dove, Could the truth be this ironic; we’ll die for the right to live, Have to fight to keep the peace; have to take just to learn how to give, Friend or foe, We’ll never know. Reinvent the system put the bait into the trap, Serve it into slices draw new lines upon the map, It don’t really matter if you don’t know what it’s for, Freedom is as good excuse as any for a war. How much freedom does it really take, For a person to walk their own way, Government orders when it ought to serve, But we get the government we deserve, If we could live in peace we wouldn’t need the laws, If we could live with reason we wouldn’t die for a cause. Let's take the freedom donors; throw them all in jail, Their wolf cry of liberation; they make life a living hell, You have to see, To really be free, Let's take the blinders off justice so he can look the people in the face, Is a concept more precious than the spice of the human race, It’s your right, Not to fight. Reinvent the system put the bait into the trap, Serve it into slices draw new lines upon the map, It don’t really matter if you don’t know what it’s for, Freedom is as good excuse as any for a war. Feb. 93
5.
I feel just like driftwood; out on the ocean, I’m not going anywhere but I’m perpetual motion, Earth island in a dark sea; roots break thru the ground, Surface life glitters and teases and the unknown is never found. I just had a feeling or was that just a thought, Am I what man has mastered or am I what god has wrought. I don’t remember the question so I question the answer, A child stumbles across the living-room floor but she moves like a dancer, The body falters; takes two steps back then follows the mind, How could the mind’s eye see so much yet be so blind. I just had a feeling or was that just a thought, Am I what man has mastered or am I what god has wrought. My feet long for some solid rock; my eyes search for true vision, But all I get is a vague impression and desire mixed with indecision, Some people believe they know; some people know they believe, Yet we sit here in our guilty innocence waiting for the big reprieve. I just had a question or was that just an answer, Am I the music and the dance or am I the dancer. Jan. 93
6.
Learning to know in the history of ignorance, Where time is just the toy of a child, We duck the flying bullets and the swaying flags, With rage in our hearts but it’s not like how the wind is wild, In the shattered bones of dated dogma, In the hot blood of the modern mind, It seems funny that we’er still searching for ourselves, And we end up faulting everything we find. The apple still falls in the same way from the tree, We do as we choose and still argue whether we’er free, The thing of itself is lost in history, The thing in itself is mystery. With ironic art the sculptor shapes his face, And real life is lived by the hand and not the heart, And the days that mark his pride slip by like humility, He doesn’t know how to find the end because he never knew where to start, Is the artist guilty or is art innocence, The answer depends on which question you ask, The sky is not painted yet we call the color blue, Is every eye just a mirror is every face just a mask. The apple still falls in the same way from the tree, We do as we choose and still argue whether we’er free, The thing of itself is lost in history, The thing in itself is mystery. When it rains it looks like the sky is melting, But it is always there and I am always here, But do I see what I’m looking at or what I’m looking for, When you're in the dark everything seems clear, As the wall of ignorance crumbles the wall of knowledge is built, And the heavens still turn on the same old wheels, And Sisyphus still rolls the stone, And they say we’ll never really know how he feels. The apple still falls in the same way from the tree, We do as we choose and still argue whether we’er free, The thing of itself is lost in history, The thing in itself is mystery. Nov. 92
7.
The man next to me said kill unless you’d rather die, You’ll end up in heaven before you know the reason why, The man next to me he looked like a killer felt, He said you can wear my hat boy and watch your ego melt, The man next to me he said this is all just a game, He said you either take the revenge or the blame, The man next to me he said there’s only one way out, He said if your ruled by what is right you won’t be ruled by doubt, The man next to me says he believes in the word of god, He lives on a dead in street in the land of Nod, The man next to me he took hold of his sword, Split the enemy in two in the name of the lord. The man next to me I think he’s hurting bad, But I don’t feel sorry for him he just makes me mad, Always pointing the finger always ready to curse and cuss, But he has seen the enemy and the enemy is us. The man next to me he says he is my brother, But if this is true; god please don’t tell my mother. Oct. 92
8.
Play Money 04:53
What is the reason that one man has to die, And another man lives on his grief, Where is the truth at when one man is cold, And another man is warmed by his belief, What is fair when one man is cheated blind, And another man claim as his everything he find. And how do we know, Which way to go, When we never knew where we were going, And we’ve stopped the river’s flow, We don’t really believe in love, We believe in push and shove, You're a loser or a winner, Your fate will fit you like a glove, And this world is just one world, Divided into slices, We point the finger of our god, To the heathen’s faults and vices, The machine of the world chugs on, With its fuel of blood and sweat, And the paymasters make new loans, To keep the debtors in debt, Will it stop when we’ve finally ripped out, All the gold from the bowls of the Earth, That’s when we’ll finally really know just how much it’s worth. Why don’t we pretend; We’er pretending now. Why don’t we give the hard luck man a break, Give the starving man a meal, Give the woman with three kids to feed, Give her a brand new deal, Why don’t we send the wide eyed kid to school, Teach him the value of the dirt, Take the man who has lost everything, Give him back his shirt, Give every business man a Mercedes Benz, Every ditch digger a Rolls Royce, Lets give everyone real freedom, Give everyone a real choice. But maybe we need the distinctions, Just like good or bad rich or poor, And maybe the day will come, When we won’t need them anymore, Yeah maybe the day will come, When we’ll all live on milk and honey, And we won’t need all this hate, And we’ll throw away all this play money. Nov. 92
9.
Dark Matter 06:34
Why do we feel the need to ask why, We try to put it in words but our breath just makes a sigh. Spinning thru the cosmos with unbelievable speed, With everything we want but all we do is need, Body plays the victim; spirit plays the healer, Not quite sure which one’s the player and which one’s the dealer, We can part the shallow waters but we drown in the deep, We sow ourselves confusion and live on what we reap, What is it that we look for; that we never find, The brain tries to ponder the meaning of the mind. Why do we live on expectations, Why will we die for explanations. Searching for a heaven to replace this broken Earth, Trying to figure out the connection between death and birth, Hidden in this nature are clues to the creation, We find the simple answer to create more complication, Thought is the mind’s anchor and atoms split the air, Man accepts the challenge of the dark-matter dare, The planets find their way without knowing where to go, Man stumbles blindly inventing what to know. We don’t have to be asleep to dream, But we can’t make water out of steam. (um ba aaaaa, um ba a) And this dark tangle only spares the truth, It destroys all speculation the way time destroys our youth. Jan. 93
10.
Deep 05:05
And so it’s easy there’s nothing to it, It’s easy enough to fake it if you don’t know how to do it, It’s life with a scream in the whisper of love, Hell beneath your dignity and heaven above, Playing with the enemy and shooting down your friends, Throwing up on the host when the party ends, Life giver; death giver don’t give us any more, We don’t even know what the fuck we’ve got it for. The deep is deeper than that new paint job's glow, To the sea where all these shallow rivers flow, In a world where something glitters it must be gold, If it can be bought it will be sold. Fighting over which is healthier trash or shit, Wondering which one could be the biggest hit, Force feeding the people what they want, Making a living out of missing the point, If we live for the moment; the future is a blank, Shake hands with each other ‘cause we only have ourselves to thank, Just enough wonder to wonder why, But not enough to do anymore than just lay down and die. The deep is deeper than that new paint job's glow, To the sea where all these shallow rivers flow, In a world where something glitters it must be gold, If it can be bought it will be sold. We brag about our ignorance and take pride in confusion, We strip off what is real and then market the illusion, Every ten minutes or so we have a new hero, But the numbers in this new math all add up to zero, We don’t mind looking like idiots as long as we don’t get our hands dirty, Don’t want to listen to words of wisdom if they’er too wordy, We learn all we know from those who don’t know how to teach, We keep dirt in our hands and gold within our reach. “I know your deeds, that you are neither hot nor cold, I would that you were cold or hot, So because you are lukewarm and neither hot nor cold, I will spew you from my mouth, Because you say “I am rich and have become wealthy and have need of nothing” And you do not know that you are wretched, And miserable and poor and blind and naked.” Jan 93
11.
Hearts in the middle of souls and crosses, Heads turn the mirror and then deal the losses, Forecast weather in the shape of thought, Look what time has sold; look what fate has bought, Hammer the memory into a future scene, Polish the scar until the dirt is clean. Always looking for the pain in pleasure, Always sifting thru the trash for treasure. Winds beat heavy in the gulf of change, Daylight's feather makes the night feel strange, The course of rivers and a quantum leap, The rich man’s theory that life is cheap, The pull of blood and the strain of duty, The grave of flesh for the growth of beauty. Always looking for the pain in pleasure, Always sifting thru the trash for treasure. Fall into time’s blue rage, A player on life’s hard stage, And we know its heart feels not, But this deaf pulse is all we’ve got, And so we go the way of the blind, But we never know what we might find, At the rainbow’s end all may be told, All that’s sure is this hope’s worth much more than a pot of gold. Souls confused by silence and schemes, Lost in the interpretation of dreams, Flatlander's within Earth-dweller's without, The hammer of hope and the nail of doubt, You can’t build cities on a hunting ground, Without one day watching them all burn down. Sept. 92
12.
And so now civilization dances to the barbarian's music, And the hand that reached thru space is gripping time, Oh the flesh used to make angel's blood, And that voice that chanted war now sings in rhyme. But still I see darkness where shadows have fallen. In an upright posture the ape is mocking pride, Troubleshooting the cosmos from the fetal position, Blank space pushing weather thru a yielding sky, And the mind that shaped the matter is cast into remission. But still the stars are greased for the prophets passion. The heart of the beast; pressed against the ribcage, His mind is fixed on the makeshift treasure, Laws that tame and order his shape, He plummets headlong into pain and stumbles into pleasure. Oct. 92
13.
Mr. President can you hear me, I've been down on my luck, All I want in this world, Is just to make an honest buck, I heard they'er spending millions a day, Could I just maybe have a small loan, Mr. President I know you're a good man, Would you just throw a dog a bone. I'm a hard working man they say you've lost touch, I know this ain't true. Mr. President I don't understand, Exactly what the government does, Some say this ain't a great country no more, But it's as great as it ever was, Mr. President I don't know what you do, But I'm sure you do it well, They say that all your toil is for me, Maybe you should just rest a spell. I'm a hard working man they say you've lost touch, I know this ain't true. Hey can't you help me, I'm really hungry, I love my country, I fought and would have died. I went when I was just eighteen, To a land as strange as strange can be, I came back home they said I'd changed, I did my best to rearrange, I took a wife we had a good life, I came home one night and she had done the knife, And then things got bad and lately things have been worse, I feel like I'm some god damn curse, I lost my job now I'm on the streets, Can you tell me what happens to a man's dreams? Mr. President; can you hear me, (can you hear me, can you hear me). Nov. 92
14.
They wanna rule your body, They wanna run your mind, They wanna take your money, Leave you behind, Money don't mean nothing, But you gotta live, And society works, So they can take and you can give, Maybe it's not all bad, But is this called good, I guess a hammer still works, Without the nail or the wood. It's hell on Earth, Heaven's just in your head, And the kings and priests gave the holy word and they said, You live my way or you're better off dead. It's been this way now, Since ancient times, We'er just throwing stones, We'er just singing rhymes. You say this modern man, Doesn't toil for dirt, As you sip your drink, In a hundred dollar shirt. But they just make you act, And they just make you think, That they work for you, And that they bought your drink. It's hell on Earth, Heaven's just in your head, And the kings and priests gave the holy word and they said, You live my way or you're better off dead. If it don't make sense, You just don't know the plan, You see it's all for mankind, Not for the man, So they give you a god, To sanction your woes, But where he's run off to, Only heaven knows, And so they bury the bones, And they paint the house, And they teach a man, To be a happy mouse. It's heaven on Earth, Hell's just in your head, And the kings and priests gave the holy word and they said, You live my way or you're better off dead. Sept. 92
15.
We move like water, thru rolling Earth time. Lost in all we’ve found, Silence break the sound, Helpless in the wake, Of destiny unbound, Days are just the numbers of the turning of the sky, And when your days are done no one can really answer why. Finding what we’ve lost, Every burning bridge is crossed, Trapped with what is given, Living with the cost, All things are forever in the harvest of the dawn, We are just the rolling river just the motion's pawn. Time perched spirit in a wonder cage, Flesh drenched soul in a dreamer’s rage, The world was flat, And we liked it like that, Now time is money, And waste is honey, Earth drawn and going down with the ship, Six billion pilgrims on a cosmic trip, The wings of the dove, The muscles of love, Navigate thru rain, And the clouds of pain. Using what we find, Creating vision for the blind, The motion and the mover, Solid earth and world of mind, Rolling Earth time thru infinite space, Trying to live by the myth of the fallen grace. Nov. 92
16.
You've got seventy five cents worth of change and the government in your pocket, Breaking hearts with lies without a second thought; you keep cocaine in your locket. You put a kid on the streets just twelve years old; selling drugs and smoking crack, Sweet sixteen killed by a John in some dirty little room you took the money and you didn't look back. You ship ten thousand jobs overseas just to save a dime, You pay some broken old lady a dollar an hour; a dollar fifty for overtime. You're a good man and as clean as can be in the eyes of the law, But in the eye of clouds you're a fucking worm and one day your gonna fall, Justice is a subtle foe, But if you're gonna fight her you better know, One day it'll come and lay you low, Hit you so quick you'll never see the blow. Dec. 92
17.
Thought and chisel shape the season, The sky bends around our reason, We look for answers in the mirror, When the truth is so much nearer, Finding what we look for, And then always looking to find more, And yet life is still a pagan mystery, And the future is just like history. The eye trying to see itself has to use a mirror. Dreams won't stay in bed, Ideas won't stay in your head, Is truth a fact or a feeling, Or is the search itself just appealing, We cut the flesh just to get to the bone, We put a killer on the throne, Don't know how to look inside, So we just stoke our foolish pride. The eye trying to see itself has to use a mirror. What's the looking glass looking for, Does it make any difference anymore, Questions don't come with answers, They just multiply like a cancer, The wind doesn't wonder why it blows, But man must wonder why he knows, The seer itself cannot be seen, What does this matter; what could this mean. The eye trying to see itself has to use a mirror. Feb. 93
18.
Soma Sema 03:49
And so is this just truth's disguise, Have we learned to believe in lies, I'm alive inside this body, Where will I find, A gravedigger to help me, Bury my mind. This bone poison is rotting thru my skin, And my spirit hungers for its fair share of sin, Split in two, Half life; half death, Some divine will, Wrapped in mortal breath. And so now is beauty just a ruse, Pull your mind out of your sex for lovemaking with the muse, From the world of appearance, To atomic souls, Building buildings, And digging holes. Don't waste your touch on these futile feelings, Nature holds no double dealings, There's only one there's only god, From Eden's gate to the land of Nod, Touch your lover's body to feel her soul, Unchain the planet and watch it roll, Take your life and don't grovel death, Live your words and don't waste your breath. And so now lets really taste her lips, I wanna dig my fingernails into her hips, I sold my soul to my body, And my mind to the Earth, I don't live for death, And I praise my birth. Loving life you come to me, Your beauty bare I long to see, Bring me heaven in mortal dress, I want no more and I need no less. Feb. 93
19.
Sophia 05:36
Sophia; I’m ready I know how to love you. Sophia; your beauty is like the sky above you, Sophia; I promise that I will always be true. Give me all the colors, Give me fire and rain, Show me how your lovers, Live without their pain. Sophia; I’m hungry for the wine of your kiss, Sophia; I lust for a mind that’s shaped with bliss, Sophia; your passion is my only wish. Give me all the colors, Give me fire and rain, Show me how your lovers, Live without their pain. Sophia; desire is your way, Don’t turn this flesh back into clay, Sophia; I’ve never loved so much, My feelings are feeling for your touch. Sophia; I breath you; your perfume I thrill, Sophia; my touch love; you're all that I feel, Sophia; I dream flesh; you're all that is real. Give me all the colors, Give me fire and rain, Show me how your lovers, Live without their pain. Her flesh is just like ghost; I touch it and I live, You have to learn to take all that she can give, In my heart, I’m lifted by desire into the arms of all knowing, Where we love for just the loving and go for just the going, In my soul, Sophia; I know you wait on the far side of time, I want you to bring your body, To my mind. March 93
20.
I descended as if in dream into the hot and wasted desert, Then I came upon a mountain of bones - the remains of all metaphysical massacres, And piles of gold and silver topped with the crowns of self righteous kings, Then I moved beyond this into a green valley where the great sages lived, I saw a man of simple aspect who seemed as divine as human, His hands and feet were swollen and bleeding; his side pierced; his flesh torn, It was obvious this sage had suffered more than Socrates, I asked him the cause of his death he said "priests and judges", I asked had he intended to guide mankind with a new religion he said "no", Was it he who was responsible for these mountains of bones and those masses of royal and sacred gold, He answered “no, I and mine lived in the humblest poverty and always followed peace", I asked him then; what did the true spirit strive for, He answered "I have told you before; love god and love your neighbor as yourself", I said If this is the case; I take you as my sole master, He smiled humbly and it filled me with warmth, purpose and beauty, As this vision faded and the world slowly came back into focus my conscience filled with peace. Feb. 93
21.
I told you how much I loved you, But I still wonder if you really knew, This world could be false and hard, But you were always soft and true, You took care of your sick brother, Until the very day my father had to take care of you, I'm sure heaven is proud for such a helping hand, But let me tell you this world is blue. And still sometimes when I think too long about you, Sometimes I still cry, But I look out every evening and see you, In the little pink sky. You were the meaning of compassion, I remember your trip to the holy land, You were hurt by the Jews hatred of the Arabs, But all you did was try to understand, I can still see your deep eyes tear up, When you told the story of how mean and rude, Those tour guides thru the holy city were, To those children begging for food, I know this changed your life, I know it made you realize, That hate is just hate no matter where it comes from, Even when it wears religion's disguise. And I still feel your love from on high, In the little pink sky. You were the art of womanhood, You were always beauty and grace, Your laugh was the joy of the universe, There was nothing more precious than your face, I could listen to you talk for hours, Your life was never easy but you made the best, You made everyone around you, Feel like they were truly blessed, People say I look like you when I get mad, I notice my father and my sisters do too, You are a part of me that I cherish, I will never ever forget you. I want to be with you when I die, In the little pink sky. I'm just a little boy and I miss you. March 93
22.
If god could talk I wonder what he'd say, And if you asked him why I wonder if he'd turn away, I wonder if man is little in his sight, Do you think he could explain why what I think is wrong you think is alright, I wonder how far Heaven is from Earth, I wonder how much one man's life is worth, I wonder how many languages god can speak, I wonder if he despises the strong and loves the meek. If people would listen I wonder what they'd hear, The ringing tone of truth or the echo of their fear, If man could live for today I wonder how much living he could do, Would the many still toil for the trouble of the few, And who would seek the secret tongue for to tell, Of the fall of man and wherefore he fell, Are we deaf or is god dumb or just cast in wonder, Is it god's sigh or man's cry the comes from the throat of the thunder. If the world had a better memory I wonder how much it would remember, Does a tree that's been cut down really fall if there's no one to say timber, Does the way of the world have anything to do with the way of man, Does what men do have anything to do with what he can, How much talking will man do before he understands what's been said, How much dying can the world do before it realizes it's as good as dead, Does time make money or does money make time, Do the laws enforce what's good or do the laws enforce crime. If god got really mad I wonder who he'd yell at, I wonder if god is a little underweight or just a little to fat, Do you think if god was real everybody would think he was fake, Do you think people would say "oh for man's sake", Life stumbles like a faithful drunk and moves like a perfect dancer, And distortion is the question to which silence is the answer, I'm sure that god could do anything that man couldn't, And if god could talk I'm sure he wouldn't. Jan. 89

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"Philosophy draws us ever onward because it never answers the questions we never cease to ask."
Will Durant

This (in some parts) is a gapless album so if you listen to the singles they may start or end rather abruptly.

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released March 31, 1993

All Songs Composed, Performed and Recorded by M.M.

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Michael McGuire Nashville, Tennessee

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